Writing in ENGLISH English
When I began writing the early chapters of (what eventually became) The Hamster Britain Stories, I elected to choose no particular style of writing, and instead used my ‘own voice’. In doing so I recognised that the result would almost certainly be very colloquial, and probably based in the past somewhere. Much of my terminology comes from the time when I was growing up in rural England. Certainly I’ve never heard anyone of more recent times use the term ‘Go to Buggery’: It was my father’s favourite instruction to salesmen who came knocking upon his door during the nineteen sixties, trying to foist brushes upon him for indecent prices. His response was always the same: “Why don’t you go to buggery!” he would bellow rather than use a coarse term like “Fuck off!”, and I would secretly giggle behind the sofa.
I did wonder if this and other colloquial terms would stand the test of time, and I was pretty sure that they wouldn’t travel well. I wondered if I was limiting myself to a purely British, perhaps English, potential readership. Would it alienate non-Brits? Would it mean anything to them? I mean – does the word ‘bollocks’ mean anything to you? When did you last hear it shouted in the shopping mall? Or ‘Arseholes’ for that matter?
Well the results, if judging by comments left upon this site are anything to go by, have proven to be quite the opposite. And I mean OPPOSITE. I don’t appear to have a British readership – unless they’re closet rude fantasy readers, and are maintaining a steely silence in order to stifle their mighty guffaws. Brits just don’t seem to get my quirky ENGLISH sense of humour at all. Of course there have been a couple of exceptions, naturally: But, by and large, enthusiastic readers of my fantasy/comedy stuff are almost uniformly from North America. It’s been just the people who I least expected to entertain – who are the most entertained. And readers from the Indian Ocean area too. It’s inexplicable. Well it is to me anyway. The names Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams have been mentioned when discussing my work: They were very successful in North America: They were also very ‘English’. I wonder if there might be a connection here…
So whilst you study this very nice picture of me in the act of writing, please consider this conundrum – and pass on your thoughts to me. If you are one of those who giggle merrily at the antics of Horatio Horseblanket and friends, tell me what it is that so appeals. And even if you’re not particularly enamoured – you may have an opinion that shouldn’t be ignored. But don’t be too analytical: It might put you off my style – and we can’t have that.
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Well sir… besides other things I’ve said, there’s the literary spill of one whose personality is woven into the work in ways unpretentious and unencumbered by fear. It’s not typical. It’s immediately nourishing and it doesn’t just give your readers a view of obscene and funny hamster humanity but of a real person. You.
Oh AND… You don’t bollocks proper English spelling. ;0) (I’m forever cursing the spellcheck since it doesn’t recognize words like counsellor or humour.) Time for me to get off my arse now…tons of homework. I DO use those words a bit more than the average American.
Ah…I’m THAT transparent am I? Obviously I am. Oh dear. Or maybe not: Maybe that’s what will make my work that little bit different enough to get noticed. But people have to find it first – and that is quite an obstacle.
I dunno how transparent you are. Maybe I’m presuming to perceive you and you’re really just well-hidden behind those fig leaves, sir.
Either way, I’m closet ribald enough to appreciate the stories.
Could be – and thank you.
oh! PLEASE stay yourself!!!
i LOVE the way you word things
you are SO funny!
And I love that picture of You! The one where You’re standing in the sea. Brilliant!
Cheers, Namaste, and Carry on!
Well I’ll certainly try
I stumbled on your site whilst visiting my friend Bliss…I love your home here, please drop by L. K. Thayer’s Poetry Juice Bar…perhaps you would like to be one of my “guest squeezes?” I would like that, let me know. http://lkthayer.wordpress.com/ – isn’t the word ‘whilst’ a good one!
You don’t hear ‘whilst’ much these days. In fact I don’t recall ever hearing it. I was beginning to think I’d invented it!
No, you can’t take credit for ‘whilst’ not whilst I’m alive!
I sent you a message after yours at The Juice Bar. Ha!
I’m no dummy, every hit counts on my site…
keep the hits coming…-LK
Oh, and how the F did you figure out Lulu.com???
I built my own site and I can’t get past start
on theirs…jeeze.
Ah, now that might explain why most people are reticent to buy my books on Lulu. But is there an alternative?
Would it be too simple to say just “wow?”
Perhaps so. I try hard not to write conversationally in Iambic Pentameter or to sound in any other way like Gilbert and/or Sullivan. To begin with, It doesn’t come naturally so it’s easy to avoid. I grew up a cultural Southerner in the United States and have my “own” particular (some say peculiar) “voice.”
I am assuming that your readership is large enough to be able to make statistically valid sampling. My readership is between nil and none.
As for Anglophiles, I pray for anyone who prefers the writings of one culture over another simply because it is chic. To be frank, I am not a big fan over anthropomorphized little furry creatures as a literary preference, the one possible exception being Watership Down.
I come here not for the literature so much as for the rare comments and conversations that can be had on other subjects such as literary style.
res ipsa loquitur (don’t see that much either).
p.s. I have read you and Douglas Adams and don’t see the resemblance. You are both writers and are both English. Reminds me of the English Shakespeare Company touring in the U.S. who during Q& A after a preformance of Merry Wives of Windsor were asked, “do you know any of the people in Monty Python.” The response was “Monty who?”
And now I feel myself wittering on so whilst the time is ripe I will bid you adieu.
“Wow” would’ve been fine, but infinitely less revealing – about both of us. I’ve never deliberately written in iambic pentameter, but if I write a rhyme (really not a poem) it must have rhythm, so maybe… And you certainly have a very individual ‘voice’ yourself. My readership is really an unknown quantity. There are a small number of kind souls who take the time to comment, and to those I am so very grateful because it helps me to recognise that I’m not wasting my time, which is important because, as a diabetic, I am sometimes overwhelmed with abrupt, and short-lived, depressions – and throw everything away. I sometimes curse myself for having discarded so much material through the years. But you get thousands of ‘hits’ so your own readership must be vast. But for some reason they don’t always comment. I wonder why that is? Intimidated by your obvious intellect perhaps? I’m sure being an Anglophile is just a matter of personal taste in literature or whatever. The British have never been known for their ‘chicness’. Actually I never really understood chic until I rather belatedly visited Paris. Boy are they chic over there! But I digress… Watership Down. Hate it. It’s half-arsed anthropomorphization (is that a real word?) A bit like Animal farm in some respects. They have animal names – but that’s about it. No, for me, if you’re telling a story about people in animal form, you have to go the full nine yards, and stick ‘em in underpants. I suspect that you’re not alone in your reasons for visiting here. I’ve always said to people who suggest that my stories could be turned into a film or TV series – it’s not what I write – it’s the way that I write it. It wouldn’t translate into a visual medium (unless you’re a TV exec reading this, in which case ignore my last sentence). But fortunately there are some who enjoy my stories for what they are – hopefully fun parodies and outrageous tales of derring-do and exposed private parts. Res ipsa loquitur? Do you really think so? I’m uncertain. Regards your P.S: I agree with you. D.A had his style: I have mine. And as for Monty Python…Someone actually once suggested that I must have been influenced by them. Can’t see it myself. But I guess it was a compliment. Or did they just think I was stealing other people’s ideas? Who knows? Like I said in the piece – Comedy is a funny thing. Thanks for the time you spent commenting. You may not always say what I want to hear, but I suspect it’s what I NEED to hear. Come back.
Actually as I answered in my blog and have said at other times, the “thousands” of hits I receive is largely the result of well chosen photographs to supplement the context of my posts. So, I don’t take any credit for the views being due to anything like marvelous intellect or any other such baloney. My consolation is that when they come to grab the photo the text is there to greet them as well. And I do get enough rare comments to validate that assumption.
For example I did a satiric post titled “Give War a Chance” in which I said we should give up all this malarkey about achieving world peace and go with our strong suit–war. In the piece I posted a photo of a simple Peace Sign. Ironically the post received THOUSANDS of hits by people looking for that photo. I received one comment from some poor irony impaired fool who chided me for being a war monger. So, while he came for the photo he stayed to read my satire although it went entirely over his head.
A cartoon image of Batman and Robin soul-kissing with the simple text “The Rainbow Coalition Has Gone Too Far!” is my number one view getter and also my number one comment getter. Most people get the humor of it but there are sadly some who do not.
I tried posting my fiction for a short while in the beginning and found it unsatisfying for several reasons. I do have a core of viewers who regularly comment, you among them.
I wasn’t referring to you with the “pentameter” comment but having a general brain fart moment about some other comment I had read.
I was and still am, but to a lesser extent, influenced by the late Hunter S. Thompson–one of the founding fathers of Gonzo journalism.
I read so little fiction any more that what I have read in the past ten years is negligible. It’s just a matter of taste I suppose, if that is not too simplistic. I will continue to come back.
We change through the years. As a young man I would take a science fiction novel with me everywhere – including the toilet. Now? Maybe I might read a few pages if the view through the aircraft window is uninteresting: Otherwise nada. My loss, I’m sure. I just wish I had either the time, the opportunity, and the inclination. Or maybe all three.
Regarding your intellect baloney – doesn’t the fact that some people fail entirely to comprehend your irony support my theory?
Oh British humor is the best humor. Ricky Gervais is one of my very favorites, as well Scotsman turned American, Craig Ferguson (I’m going to have read his book to try and figure out why he converted). John Cleese just this week wrote an op-ed on Huffington Post that had me in stitches. Your humor is so brilliantly understated and perfect. I love it.
I thank you – on behalf of all British humourists.